Urukundo ni nk’igitabo, buri rupapauro rugira inkuru yarwo, hamwe
usoma inkuru inogeye amatwi urenga urupapuro rumwe ufite unyota yo gusoma urundi, ntabwo uba uzi ibyanditswe ku rundi rupapuro , niba bishimishije cyangwa bibabaje bityo bikagutera amatsiko yo gukomeza gusoma umunsi ku wundi, n’abagenze mu bugimbi n’ubwangavu baba bafite ayo matsiko.
Abahanga mu myitwarire ya kiremwamuntu bagereranya urukundo n’igitabo , buri rupapuro rugira inkuru yihariye, buri munsi uba ufite amatsiko yo kubona uko uwo mukundana azaba ameze ejo.
Mu rubyiruko ho biba ibindi kuko rimwe na rimwe usanga hari abo rwatwaye busazi, abenshi twumvise ibya Jacque na Rose na muri firimi ya Titanic cyangwa se ibya Samusoni na Derila bo mu byanditswe bitagatifu.
Mu buzima busanzwe ntawe utishima iyo yitaweho, yaba umwana ukiri ku ibere, ingimbi, abashakanye ndetse n’abasheshe akanguhe.
Urukundo ni inzira ndende kandi ikubiyemo byinshi ntabwo buri gihe biba ari uburyohe, habamo Ibihe byiza n’ ibihe bibi gusa uko ubyitwaramo nibyo bikugira intwari cyangwa ikigwari mu rukundo.
Urubyiruko ruba rurajwe ishinga no kumenya ese ni gute bakundana? Ni gute nakwereka umuntu ko mukunda? Izo mpungenge zose zigatuma bahura n’ingorane nyinshi dore ko ibije byose babifata nkukuri batabanje gusesengura.
Ababyeyi akenshi ntabwo bashimisha no kubona abana babo bishora mu rukundo cyane cyane mu gihe cy’ubugimbi, bemeza ko baba batazi ibyo barimo ,bigoranye kwifatira imyanzuro ikwiye ku buzima bwabo ahubwo bayobowe n’amarangamutima.
Ese ni bibi gukundana cyangwa gukundwa mu bugimbi n’ubwangavu?
Iyo abana bakiri ingimbi, ababyeyi ntabwo baha agaciro urukundo abana bakundana hagati y’umuhungu n’umukobwa , utugambo twiza bavugana, gusurana ndetse n’ibiganiro bagiranaku materefoni ntabwo bihabwa agaciro. Kubera iki se?
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Muri icyo kigero niho usanga abana baba bafite amatsiko ku bintu byinshi batazi, urugero, gukundana, gusohoka mu birori , gusomana, imibonano mpuzabitsina n’ibindi.
Baba babibona mu mafilimi bibatera kugira amatsiko menshi, bityo rero ababyeyi bakagira impugenge ko abana babo bashukwa n’ikigero bagezemo, tekinoloji n’amashagaga y’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu byatuma bishora mu busambanyi budakingiye, kunywa ibiyobyabwenge, ubujura,…. byabaviramo kwangiza ejo heza.
Ese birakwiye ko ababyeyi bakumira uru rukundo?
Imyitwarire myiza y’umwana ni ishema ku mubyeyi. Birumvikana ko urukundo hagati y’umuhungu n’umukobwa rutamera nk’urukundo hagati y’umwana n’umubyeyi cyangwa se hagati yabavukana, gusa byose ni urukundo kandi bose urukundo rwabo ruba ari rwiza.
Ushobora gutekereza ko ababyeyi bawe bakubongamira bakubuza gukundana, cyangwa se umubyeyi akibaza uko yareka umwana we muri uwo mubano akiri muto? Iyo niyo mpamvu abana n’ababyeyi batabyumva kimwe kuri iyo ngingo y’urukundo, ariko muri karemano ya muntu nta we ugomba kubuzwa uburenganzira bwo gukunda/ gukundwa.
Iterambere rizana byinshi,ababyeyi ntabwo bakiri inzira nyamukuru yo gubona amakuru ku bana , ahubwo bayobotse murandasi.
Abana babona kandi bumva byinshi rimwe narimwe birenze imitekerereze yabo,ibyo byose bihindura imitekerereze y’umwana bityo rero haba hakenewe ko umubyeyi afata iya mbere mu gufasha umwana gusobanukirwa ibyo abona, ibyo yumvana abandi,… hakiri kare kandi atabica ku ruhande, umubyeyi akaganiriza umwana kandi akumva ibitekerezo bye bityo akamufasha kubigorora , umwana nawe akisanzura ku babyeyi be
Nkuko hari ibitekerezo bwiza.com ikesha inzobere mu buvuzi bw’indwara zo mu mutwe bo mu gihugu cy’u Bwongereza, bigisha muri kaminuza Oxford, bavuga ko gukundana mu gihe cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu ari byiza iyo bihawe inzira nziza ,mbese utayobowe n’ibishashi by’urukundo, bifasha amarangamutima gukura neza kandi bigatera umubiri kugubwa neza yaba mu mitekereze no mubyishimo.
Iyo bigenze mu nzira mbi,hamwe wunva utabaho uri wenyine, iyo habayeho gutandukana bishobora no kukuviramo kuzinukwa, ukagira agahinda gahoraho ndetse bigahindura n’imitekerereze nabi ku bantu.
Izi nzobere zigira inama ingimbi n’abangavu zo gukundana nabo banganya imyaka, bahuje imitekereze kuruta gukundana n’ababarusha ibitekerezo kuko bashobora kubashora mu ngeso mbi.
Kanda hano ujye ubona amakuru yihuse kandi kugihe kuri Facebook no kuri twitter
Kalawo M.Eriezer/Bwiza.com
