Abagabo benshi uzasanga mu kanwa kabo bavuga ijambo ‘kunyaza umugore’ mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko ababa bazi uko bikorwa, ni ingerere. Dore rero pozisiyo nziza wakwifashisha kugira ngo umugore anyare cyangwa se azane amavangingo.
Ubusanzwe pozisiyo nziza ni mwe (umugabo n’umugore) mwihitiramo bitewe n’uko ibanezeza, biragoye guhita ubwira umuntu uti fata iyi reka iriya, gusa benshi izo bakunze guhuriraho ni izi ebyiri zikurikira.
1.Nku’uko bizwi ko umuco wo gutera akabariro unyaza ari umuco wa kera abanyarwanda bakunze gukoresha n’ubu kandi ukaba ugikunzwe, pozisiyo bakundaga gukoresha ni iyo Umugabo yicara hasi akarambura akaguru kamwe kakarambya akandi akagahina ariko agasa nk’ukaryamisha ku buryo ivi rijya hasi.
Umugore we aba yicaye neza imbere y’umugabo akicarira ka kaguru gahinnye ahagana ku kirenge, umugore we ahina amaguru yombi amavi akareba hejuru. Ako kaguru k’umugabo gahinnye umugabo akifashisha yigiza imbere n’inyuma umugore, ariko anabasha gukoza igitsina cye kuri rugongo neza, akinjira imbere neza yisanzuye,…
Byumvikane neza, mwese muba mwafashe umurego umubiri wanyu witeguye, bishatse kuvuga ko muba mwabanje gutegurana bihagije.
2.Uburyo bwa kabiri bukoreshwa na benshi, kabone niyo umugabo atagamije kunyaza umugore, ubu bwo umuore aryama agaramye, umugabo akamujya hejuru ariko agasa nkuzamura igihimba cye ku buryo kidakora ku cy’umugore.
Ubu buryo iyo umugabo aruha vuba, umugore agarama nko kugitanda agategera umugabo amaguru neza noneho umugabo akamupfukama imbere ku buryo amushikira neza ubundi agakora ibyo twatangaje mu gice cya 4.
Izi pozisiyo zifasha umugabo gufata igitsina cye ubu akagishyira hagati y’imishino yombi akubita hirya no hino maze akajya azamura amanura, icyo gihe umugore aritsa ahumeka ukabona ko aryohewe,ubikora nk’imashini ntumutekereze kugera aho amisha ibikari bishyushye inshuro zose ushaka.
Ni bwinshi ariko icyo mwebwe mwashakanye muba musabwa ni ukumenya ububaryoheye, kimwe n’uko hari abatinda kurangiza cyangwa kunyara, umugabo agakoresha urutoki cyangwa inkonji, ayikoza kuri rugongo ari nako igitsina akinjiza imbere akongera akagaruka inyuma.
Twabibutsa ko izi nyigisho tuzitanga zigenewe abarushinze cyangwa abari mu nzira yabyo, intego ntabwo ari ukwigisha ubusambanyi mu rubyiruko rufite irari ry’imibiri. Niwishora mu busambanyi uzakuramo imbwa yiruka.
Igice cya 6 kizaba kirimo ikibazo cyo kwibaza ibyiza byo kunyaza no kunyazwa ku ruhane rw’umugabo cyangwa umugore.
Ese banyaza bate?
N’ubwo hari benshi batabisobanukiwe, ni igihe umugore abasha gusohora amavangingo aturuka mu myanya myibarukiro ye biturutse ku byiyumviro aba yatewe n’umugabo. Bisonanuye rero ko hataza inkari ahubwo haza amavangingo ashyushye cyane, bikaba biryohera umugore cyane kuko biza bitewe n’ibyishimo ndengakamere aba yatewe n’uwo babikorana bitewe nyine n’uburyo abimukoreramo.
Noneho kunyaza byo rero, Umugabo ushaka kunyaza abanza gutegura uwo benda guhuza urugwiro nk’uko bisanzwe, nyuma rero ntago yinjiza igitsina cye cyose mu cy’umugore ahubwo akigarukiriza ahagana hanze rwose agakikijwe n’imigoma nyuma akajya agikoza kuri rugongo amanura yongera azamura adakuraho.
Uko umugabo akomeza kuyihata, icyo gihe umugore atangira kumva uburyohe budasanzwe bityo uko umugabo akomeza niko n’umugore akomeza kugira ububobere bwinshi ari nabyo biryohera umugabo cyane. Uko umugabo aryoherwa kubera ububobere ni nako igikorwa kigenda cyoroha kandi n’uburyohe ku mugore bugakomeza kuba bwinshi.
Bwa buryohe umugore yumva uko burushaho kuba bwinshi ni nako arushaho kugira amatembabuzi atumba ububobere mu myanya ndangagitsina yiyongera, bikaza kugera rero aho umugore azana amavangingo ashyushye, umugore akumva aruhutse ashize amavunane ari nayo mpamvu bavuga ko bivura umutwe n’umugongo ku mugore ubikorerwa kenshi.
Nyamuneka utabanje gutegura umugore neza ntabwo wamunyaza pe, bisaba kubanza kumuha akanya, ikindi kandi ntabwo byashoboka mwese murebana ay’ingwe, gice cya gatatu twabivuzeho.
Icyo kwitondera, mugabo koresha imbaraga nke umenye ko umugore wawe ari umuntu, nushaka kumunyaza ku ngufu uzamubabaza nawe utibabariye, koresha mu mutwe kurusha uko wakoresha ibibaraga byinshi, umva ko niba byanze uyu munsi ejo bizakunda.
