Ni kenshi uzasanga umugabo bafatiwe mu cyuho baca inyuma abagore babo bataranamarana kabiri, uruhande rumwe umugabo ashobora kubikorwa bimuturutseho kimwe n’uko n’umugore ashobora kubigiramo uruhare.
Tugiye gihera ku mpamvu zishobora guturuka ku mugabo, umugore we nta ruhare yabigizemo.
1. Kutamenya kwifatira umwanzuro: Umugabo akaba amaze ukwezi kumwe, abiri cyangwa umwaka ashakanye n’umugore, kubera kutamenya kwifatira umwanzuro akaba ahuye n’umukobwa cyangwa umugore akamubera ikigusha kugeza basambanye. Kumwereka ko atari muri uwo murongo w’ubusambanyi bikamunanira ahubwo agasigara yicuza nyuma. Aha umugore ashobora kibikora agambiriye kugusenyera cyangwa se ku bw’uko yumva yagukunze.
2.Ingeso yakokamye: Hari abagabo usanga igihe cyose bahorana irari ry’ubusambanyi, bakumva guhora bahinduranya abagore ariryo shema. Aha rero kabone nubwo waba waraye ushyingiranwe n’umugore ntibyakubuza kumuca inyuma.
3.Guhurwa vuba: Ugasanga umugabo azanye umugore hari uko yajyaga amubona, akimajina ko ameze uko cyangwa kuriya, aha rero iyo asanze atariko bimeze hari abatabasha kwihangana bagahitamo gusubira rimwe na rimwe mu bandi bahoze baryamana cyangwa se kugura indaya.
4. Urubyaro: Hari abagabo batajya bihanganira kuba bamara umwaka batarabyara, akabona amezi atandatu ashize umugore ataratwita, aho ugasanga umugabo ahise yirukankira mu bandi bagore kugira ngo arebe ko yavanayo akana kandi mu by’ukuri atari uko urubyaro bazarubura burundu, ahubwo ari igihe kitaragera. Agatangira kujarajara mu bandi bagore bataranajya kwisuzumisha kwa muganga.
5. Ikigare: Hari abagabo usanga bagira ikigare kibi, ukaba usangira mu kabari na rya tsinda ry’abagabo bahorana imitima irehareha, igihe cyose bakumva ko bagomba gusambana, iyo ugihoramo na we urandura, ukaba waca umugore wawe inyuma kandi mu by’ukuri ntacyo wamuburanye mu gihe gito mumaranye.
Hari izindi mpamvu rero zishobora guturuka ku mugore, bityo umugabo akaba yamuca inyuma.
1. Gufata nabi umugabo mu buriri: Niba uri umugore ukaba wumva ko umugabo ugomba kumufata nabi uko wishakiye mu gihe mugeze mu buriri uba urimo kumusinika umwohereza hanze, ntabwo atinda kukwereka ko hari ibyo ukuburaho yakura ahandi.
2. Kugendera ku muco: Hagendewe ku muco nyarwanda wa kera, n’ubu hari abagabo bacyumva ko umugore utaraciye mu rubohero, aha ndavuga ‘Gukuna cyangwa se Guca imyeyo’ ataryoshya imibonano cyangwa se akaba hari icyo abura. Aha uzasanga umugabo abimuziza kandi mu by’ukuri nta shingiro. Aho kumufasha mu gushaka umuti wabyo dore ko hari n’abakuna bakuze, ahubwo akihutira kujya mu bandi bagore.
4. Umwanda: Rwose kabone n’ubwo waba warashyingiwe muri iki cyumweru, umugabo iyo abona utiyitaho, akabone uri wa mugore wa terera iyo, ntiwite ku isuku y’umubiri wawe, mu cyumba muryamamo, imyanya y’ibanga,… uzamenye ko umugabo azaguhurwa vuba. Ariko se na we niba uyu munsi mukoranye imibonano bukira utoze, urumva muraryamana agire apeti yo kongera kukwegera?
5. Kumuca intege: Hari abagore bakunda kubwira abagabo babo amagambo y’urucantege babereka ko ntacyo babashije, uko byagenda kose umugabo ageraho akumva ko imbere yawe ntacyo abashije agatangira kuguca inyuma aho bamuha Care zirenze izo umuha. N’ubwo yaba atera akabariro ntunyurwe aho kumunenga ahubwo mufashe umwigishe ibyo uzi aho kumuca intege.
Hari abagabo uzasanga mu mitwe yabo barokamwe n’ingeso nk’izi z’ubusambanyi, rimwe na rimwe ugasanga baritwaza ko abagore babo nta bubobere buhagije bafite, amavangingo n’ibindi ariko mu by’ukuri buryo urugo rwubakwa na babiri, aho ikibazo kiri nimwicare mugishakire umuti, kuko niwihutira kujya mu bandi bagore ni kwakundi uzavanayo imbwa yiruka, ngizo za ndwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina zirimo na VIH/SIDA, gusesagura umutungo w’urugo, gutandukana mutamaranye iminsi ibiri,…
