Ni kenshi usanga abantu bakundana ariko nyuma bakaza gutandukana. Muri uko gutandukana, hari ubwo usanga byatewe n’impamvu ifatika wenda nk’umwe hari inenge yasanganye undi cyangwa bahararukanywe n’ibindi.
Ku rundi ruhande, hari ubwo abantu bakundana cyangwa bakiyumvanamo bikagaragarira buri wese ariko ntuzamenye uko rwa rukundo cyangwa ka gahararo kazimiriye. Burya akenshi ibi biza nyuma yo kuryamana ndetse umwe yareba undi akumva nta cyo avuze imbere ye.
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Aha turagaruka ku mpamvu zikunze kugaragara ahanini zituma umusore yanga umukobwa nyuma y’uko baryamanye.
Abashakashatsi mu bijyanye n’ubumenyamuntu(psychology) bavuga ko umuntu atakariza icyizere uwo baryamanye mu buryo butemewe n’amategeko ku munsi wa mbere babikoze.
Ibi ngo bigaterwa no kuba umwe muri bo aba amaze kugera ku ndunduro y’urukundo cyangwa yumva ashize irari ry’ibyo yashakaga ndetse akenshi akanamwanga bakiri ku buriri nubwo adahita abimubwira.
Dore zimwe mu mpamvu nyamukuru zitangwa
Kuba amaze kugera ku ntego
Akenshi abasore bakunda abakobwa bafite intego yo kuryamana na bo gusa. Icyo gihe nta rundi rukundo baba babafitiye uretse kwikundira imiterere ya bo ndetse n’ikimero bityo bareba uko bateye inyuma bakifuza no kumenya imbere uko ateye yambaye ubusa.
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Aha rero impamvu nyamukuru ituma uyu musore yanga umukobwa nyuma yo kuryamana, ni ukuba aba amaze kumubona ubwambure bwe kuko icyo yashakaga aba amaze kukigeraho.
Imyumvire
Hari abasore bumva ko umukobwa bakundana iyo amaze kubemerera ko baryamana nta gaciro aba agifite kuko batangira gukeka ko banaryamana n’abandi basore. Aha umusore usanga yibaza ati”niba yemeye ko turyamana ni gute atakwemerera n’abandi?’’
Nyamara ibi akenshi abakobwa babyemera kuko baba barabisabwe kenshi n’aba basore baba bita ko ari inshuti zabo kandi bo bakabikora babyita ko bari gutuma urukundo rukomera.
Kumubonana inenge (nk’umunuko n’ibindi)
Abasore bashobora no wanga umukobwa nyuma yo kuryamana na we kuko hari inenge runaka bamusanganye ku mubiri we, uburyo wenda yamwitayeho mu buriri n’ibindi.
Aha inenge zishobora gutuma abaryamanye batongera zigaragazwa n’aba bashakashatsi ni nyinshi ariko iziza ku isonga zikaba zishingiye ahanini ku buryo bujyanye no gushimishanya aho umusore aba atanyuzwe bitewe n’uko yisanze ku bo babanje kuryamana.
Imyitwarire idahwwitse (Gucana inyuma)
Nubwo hari abakora imibonano mpuzabitsina mu buryo bunyuranyijwe n’amategeko, ntibikuraho ko abaryamana cyangwa bakundana badafuhirana. Icyo gihe iyo umwe amenye ko mugenzi we aryamana n’abandi byanze bikonze bituma batandukana kubera iyo mpamvu.
Hari abahungu cyangwa abakobwa bagira ingeso yo gushurashura bityo akumva ko umuntu umwe atamuhagije bitewe n’amaronko akura muri uko kujajaba mu bantu batandukanyije igitsina. Aha kandi, umwe aba abasha kwiyorobeka agahisha ka kageso ariko amaherezo kakazagaragara.
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Akenshi rero usanga umwe mu bakundana tabasha kwihanganira bene iyi myitwarire bityo agahitamo gukuramo ake karenge ubudasubiza amaso inyuma. Gusa igitangaje ni uko abantu batandukanye nta kintu gifatika bapfuye bigorana no kongera kubona igifatika kibahua ngo babe bacyiyungiraho bongere bakundane.
Gentille@Bwiza.com
