Muri ibi bihe turimo ingo nyinshi zirasenyuka. Abenshi babikora batabanje gutekereza byimbitse ku ngaruka mbi bishobora kugira kuri bo ubwabo, ku bana babyaye, ku miryango yabo no kumibanire n’inshuti bahuriyeho.
Gutandukana ku bashakanye si ikintu cyoroshye kuganira. Bigora kurushaho iyo, umwe mu bashakanye bibaye ngombwa ko abiganiriza abana be: agahinda, umujinya , igihirahiro, ubwoba. Ubwoba bwo gutangira ubuzima bundi bushya, ipfunwe imbere y’inshuti zanyu, ababyeyi n’abaturanyi, agahinda ko kubabaza abana no kubavutsa ibyishimo bari basanganywe mu muryango w’ababyeyi bombi, n’ibindi.
Umufaransakazi w’inzobere mu mitekerereze n’amarangamutima by’abana (psychopedagogue), Dr Florence Millot, avuga ko iyo umwe mu bashakanye atekereza ko yahemukiwe na mugenzi we yumva kubihisha bimugoye.
Nyamara mbere yo kubishyira hanze Dr Millot agira inama yo kwibuka ko ari ibibazo byabo nk’ababyeyi ko ari bo bagomba kubikemura. Mbere yo kubibwira abana bawe, banza utekereze ukuntu abana bazabaho, aho bazatura, amashuri bazigamo n’ibindi.
Aho gucira urubanza uwo mwashakanye, humuriza abana
Florence Millot avuga mu gihe bibaye ngombwa ko ubiganiza abana, aho gushyira ikosa kuwo mwashakanye no kumucira urubanza, humuriza abana ku buzima bugiye gukurikiraho. Niba hari abana batangiye kumenya ubwenge, bahurize hamwe ubabwire uti: “Uyu munsi, papa na mama bakundana bitandukanye n’uko byari bisanzwe. Ubu twabaye inshuti zisanzwe. Ntabwo bishoboka ko dukomeza kubana mu nzu imwe. Twafashe icyemezo cyo gutandukana ariko twembi turakomeza kubakunda nk’uko bisanzwe. Tuzakomeza kuba ababyeyi banyu.”
Si ngombwa kubwira abana impamvu itumye mutandukana
Ukuri kose si ngombwa kukuvuga. Kubwira abana ngo “mama wanyu cyangwa papa wanyu ni umusinzi, ni igisambo, ni umusambanyi, ni umukene cyangwa ngo nta kigenda mu buriri,” bisa nk’igisasu kibaguyeho bikaba byakwica burundu imibanire yanyu nk’umuryango mu bihe bizakurikira. Florence avuga ko nubwo umwe yaba yumva ashenguka umutima, ibyiza ni ukudacira undi urubanza imbere y’abana.
Dr Florence Maillot yanzura avuga ko ku bana bari munsi y’imyaka 15 atari ngombwa ko bamenya impamvu itumye ababyeyi babo batandukana ngo kuko bitaba bibareba. Ni ibibazo by’abashakanye bakuze, abana ntibamenya iyo biva n’iyo bijya.
Ku isi yose gucana inyuma niyo mpamvu ya mbere ituma abashakanye batandukana. Igakurikirwa no ukutumva ibintu kimwe (incompatibilite), ubusinzi, amafaranga n’ibindi. Mu gihugu cy’Ubufaransa, buri mwaka ingo zisaga 130,000 ziratandukana.
Source: www.parents.fr
