Ubundi muri kamere muntu habamo amarangamutima ( Emotion ) ariyo amutera kubona umuntu mugenzi we akumva aramukunze ibi bikagenda bikura kugezaubwo abakundana biyemeza kubana. Nyamara ariko muri iki gihe n’ingo nyinshi zigenda zisenyuka nyuma y’igihe gito zimaze zishinzwe. Rimwe na rimwe ugasanga impamvu zitumye zisenyuka idasobanutse.
Kugira ngo rero mubashe kugira urukundo ruzira icyaruhungabanya ni ngombwa kumenya uko ugaragariza mugenzi wawe urukundo mu rurimi yumva kurusha izindi.Hari rero uburyo butanu inzobere mu byo kubana witwa Gary Chapman yanditse mu gitabo cye “five love languages”, ibyo twakwita ibikorwa bivuga “Ndagukunda”.
1.Amagambo ahesha agaciro : Ayo ni amagambo ukoresha ugaragaza icyo utekereza ku mukunzi wawe. Ni amagambo yose ashobora kumvikanisha uburyo wishimiye ibyo umukunzi wawe akora yaba amagambo yo kumutera imbaraga cyangwa meza. Urugero : Iyi myenda irakubera cyane, nkunda uko washokoje,…Iri funguro wateguye riraryoshye, nkunda ukuntu umfasha, n’ibindi
2. Ibihe byihariye byo gusabana: Uyu ni umwanya uha uwo mwashakanye, mukaba kumwe mwembi, ukamutega amatwi , mukaganira, nta kindi uhugiyeho. Mukwicarana, televiziyo ijimije kugira ngo murebane, muvugane, umwe yite ku wundi bihagije. Mushobora kandi no kujyana muri restaurant, gutemberana muri mwembi gusa. Ni ibihe bitavuze ko bigomba kuba birebire ariko bisaba ko umuntu ahagarika icyo yakoraga kindi, agaha umwanya we wose umukunzi we.
Muri iki gihe usanga gahunda zarabaye nyinshi kuburyo n’umuntu atakigira umwanya we ariko ni ngombwa cyane gufata nibura isaha imwe ku munsi n’uwo mwashakanye mukaganira mukabwirana amarangamutima yanyu.
3. Impano : Gutanga impano ni uburyo bwiza cyane bwo kuvuga ngo “ndagukunda”. Uwo uhaye iyo mpano yumva ubutumwa bw’urukundo kandi igihe cyose ayirebye atekereza uburyo umwitaho. Iyo mpano ntigomba kuba ihambaye, iba gusa ari ikimenyetso cyuko watekereje k’umuntu ukamuha ikintu uziko kiri bumushimishe. Urugero rwiza turubonera ku mwana, iyo akunze kugaragaza ko yishimiye umuntu amuha akantu aba yakoze cyangwa akarabo aciye ku nzira.
4. Gukorera umuntu ikintu (rendre service) : ni ukuvuga icyo uzi cyanezeza uwo mwashakanye. Ukagerageza kumushimisha umufasha cyangwa umukorera utuntu n’utundi nko kumufasha guteka, gutegura ameza, gukoropa, guhindurira umwana,…
5. Gukora ku muntu (le toucher): abahanga mu by’imitwarire y’umuntu bize ku byiza byo gukora ku muntu kuva akiri na muto. Nk’abana bakunda guterurwa bakumva ko bakunzwe. Ariko si abana gusa bakunda gukorwaho, guhoberwa, n’abakuru barabikenera.
Ku bashakanye iyo tuvuga gukoranaho ntibivuga gusa imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa ibiyibanziriza. Bishobora gukorwa mu buryo bwinshi : gufata mu ntoki uwo mwashakanye igihe mugenda cyangwa iyo mwegeranye, gufatana mu mayunguyungu (a la taille), gukorakora ku rutugu rw’umukunzi wawe umunyuzeho, kumumasa ibitugu ananiwe, guhoberana, gusomana,…
Mu gusoza, niba ushaka ko ikigega cy’amarangamutima y’uwo mwashakanye gihora cyuzuye, ni ngombwa cyane ko wiga uburyo yumva. Ni ngombwa kandi ko nawe amenya ubwawe. Birashoboka kandi ko umuntu yumva izi ndimi zose ariko haba hari rumwe cyangwa ebyiri yumva kurusha izindi.
Kugira ngo umenye ururimi ry’uwo mwashakanye ugomba kwita ku kimuha kumva anyuzwe cyangwa igihe yumva ubona ko yumva koko ko akunzwe. Akenshi uzasanga ari rwo rurimi rw’urukundo yumva.
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Leki@bwiza.com
